Hitting up the holidays fully in solo travel mode has amplified the deafening silence during the last few weeks, more so addressing the elephant in the room: that I am (in more ways than one) on my own now and that I need to come to terms with this fact sooner rather than later. I have been trying to cope, and I'm slowly getting there, I suppose. Overall, things are evidently harder now compared to how they were during the last 2 years. I guess, missing the company of good people throughout my Erasmus days, is all I wanted to say.
The art of adapting is always hard to master, despite my rich portfolio and long track record of frequent moving-out and changing address. In fact, I made at least 5 major moves in the last 5 years, from the Philippines to Tartu, Riga, Lyon, and now Antwerp. It always takes a lot of patience and determination to be constantly and consistently motivated amidst the compounding effects of various factors, from the weather to the language. Then I have now this impending disaster posed by the phd challenge itself.
Citing everything mentioned above, I guess I have the perfect excuse to envy these Düsseldorf plane trees: plein de beauté in plain mode. It's just amazing how they easily and effortlessly adapt through changing seasons, with full ease, in full style.
If anything, this whole movibg-out-slash-starting-anew situation has further reaffirmed my independence proving that I could indeed function, decide, and stand-by & accept the consequences of my choices. I guess being pulled out of that two-year old comfort zone is sad but is also freeing in some ways. I wish we all achieve that tabula rasa of sorts that most of us aspire this new year. cheers to moving on and moving forward, indeed !
