25 December 2023

Drunk now, might delete later

📌

Maastricht, Netherlands (Christmas eve!)


Earlier, I took a bus from Liège towards the peaceful Holland outskirts in a small city thinly sandwiched between Belgium and Germany called Maastricht. Extremely tired due to full-packed walking in the last 24 hours, I decided to take a two-hour breather as soon as I arrived in my night’s hostel intending to recover and gain enough energy to properly celebrate Christmas later in the night. Hence, it was not until 1800H when I decided to leave my costly cage only to do a little exploration around the city, but found out that most establishments including the more important Christmas markets were already about to close because it's basically Christmas eve. Food being my top necessity for the time being and apparently bound with decreasing options, I ended up settling for an expensive meal at a Chinese joint. Thankfully, it did not disappoint: noche buena a la chino was not bad of an idea at all. I had to pair it with beer of course to ease the sting of the biting cold while eating alone on such a season. I declared that I deserved such consolation. Christmas spent in a far-off place thousands of kilometers away from home isn't a game for the weak-hearted.

 

By 1930H, I was practically done with my dinner, leaving so much time spare. I decided to chill at a bar adjacent to my dinner place where a few groups were already gathered over a variety of drinks in their respective tables. It was somehow comforting to learn that there were other solo night drifters like myself, not that I really care. Apparently, I was not the only one doing the dangerous but convenient alone gaming after all. I took the last available seat on the last available table near the heater which seemed fit as a comfort place. I had a nice alone time, scrolled upon the countless generic mandatory greetings flooding the facebook wall. By this time, people were probably already asleep, thanks to the 7-hour time difference prompting that sudden longing for home to naturally creep and kick-in. Nevertheless, I knew deep down that I can create my own happiness, with the little of what I have wherever I currently am, in the most general sense.


I was more or less in the midst of contemplation and year-end self evaluation when I was told that the bar was closing early, which meant I had to settle for just one bottle of beer. Disappointed a bit, but I very well understand that normal people have families to celebrate such eve with. So I spent my remaining table time to plan my next course of action since the night was young and it was a long way ahead. Feeling lazy to hop to another bar, I decided to wander around a bit before ultimately deciding to just return to my hostel and call it a day, which brings me right here (at my hostel’s bar) right now (letting off some steam) writing this piece.

 

I am already midway through my fifth bottle of beer for the day and it’s almost 2200H. I know I needed to make an important decision in a few minutes: to beer or not to beer(?) The alcohol I consumed from the previous day still has a good grip of my system. So, alcohol doing what it does best, which is bringing up unnecessary thoughts at an unpleasant timing, it suddenly occurred to me that today might count as the saddest personal Christmas ever. I have paid so much to get here only to find out that nothing seems to be going as I hoped and imagined things should be. On a second thought, I think I am rather quite okay with it. Or maybe it’s just something I wanted to believe. Either way, I could not think straight so I will just simply let the alcohol do the thinking and deciding. Trhe tribe has spoken: I am having another bottle of beer.